Here’s the page that we’ll put info about any vacancies we’ve got available - we’ll also announce any vacancies on our Instagram page, so if you fancy working here at some point, then make sure you’re following us!

There are, sadly for you, no jobs available at the moment, but just to get your whistle wet, have a look at what we offer as standard for our elite corps of substrate slingers (as well as money, obviously):

• A four day work week - five days worth of money, in exchange for four days of work.
• Healthcare - we provide free private healthcare!
• Yearly jolly to somewhere exotic with all the food, drink, and entertainment taken care of if we’re doing well that year.
• Decent sick pay - three months at full pay, three months at half.
• 7 Mental Health days - don’t feel able to come into work? Okay, don’t. Go to the beach!

Not bad, eh? You’re saying to yourself “man that sounds sweet as hell”, and you’d be right. Your employer should already be doing all this for you, and if they ain’t then you need to start muttering about guillotines just loudly enough for them to hear. Or, I suppose, you could always wait until there’s a job here, and get treated fairly in exchange for your skills.